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Awaiting Membership to Bipolars

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3/10/09 10:50 pm - sneaky_piecrust - new shrink

saw a new shrink in my local area today . . .

he seems to be competent . . .

need to call my nyc shrink tomorrow . . .

no med changes . . .

see him again in a month . . .

9/3/07 07:08 am - psychgrl101 - I hope this is allowed....

Does anyone know where I can find bipolar/depression/anxiety related icons? Some of you have some really neat ones and I was wondering where they came from.

7/20/07 02:28 am - weasel29016

Hi. My name is Jennifer,  I am 20 years old and my boyfriend is bipolar. I am writing in several communities in hopes that someone in one of them can help me in some way.  My boyfriend and I were friends for two and half years before we started dating. Everything was fine for awhile and then suddenly on June 29 of this year he calls and says he wants to break up and that he doesn't love me any more and never did. He gives me a new reason for doing this every few minutes and says he wants to stay friends. I later hear from a mutual friend that he had told her a few days earlier " i dont want to do this but i feel i have to." When she asked him why, he replied "Because I'm bipolar." A week later we get back together. Everything seems to be going back to the way it was. Then tonight he calls me and says he wants to break up again. He gives thee same reasons he gave last time and again says that he feels he has to do this. He again says he doesnt love me. And this time says he cant talk to me or be around me anymore but refuses to give me a reason. This all happened the day after I we had a date and he seemed to be very happy. 
I want to ask those in this community if I am right in what I think is causing his behavior. 
I feel, as do a few mutual friends, that he is suffering from a manic episode. I told him this and he said that he wasn't because he was on his meds. 
I also want to ask if it is possible to have a relapse if on the medication lithium. 
I am very heartbroken and don't know what to do. Any advice is welcome. 
If more information is needed, let me know and I will get it to you as soon as I can.
Thanks so much. 

6/26/07 11:00 pm - whisperinthwind - A friend in need

I joined this community because I am very worried about a friend of mine. He has been depressed since before he was a teenager, but now his life has taken a turn for the worse. He recently broke up with his girlfriend of 5 years, and he can't seem to get over it. He thinks he may be bipolar, and not just depressed.

His symptoms are pretty severe. He gets several panic attacks a day now. He has been having suicidal thoughts for over two months. Often when he feels this way he goes and drives dangerously and aggressively. He sleeps 2-3 hours a night, when he sleeps at all. He has no appetite, and sometimes when he does eat he can't keep food down. His body is suffering too, and there are nights when he gets high fevers. He has lost faith in the medical system, and he self-medicates with god-knows-what. 

We went to college together, and when he graduated he stayed in the area. I don't graduate until next year so I'm staying with my parents over the summer. I'm about two and a half hours away. But he calls me frequently, especially when he is feeling especially suicidal. He calls so frequently that it's gotten to the point where it interferes with my job, my internship, and my social and family life. 

He blames his last therapist for his breakup with his girlfriend, and every time he has tried drug therapy he has gotten worse (which may be because he is bipolar and not depressed). His faith in that system is nil right now. Furthermore his medical insurance doesn't kick in unti August, so according to him he "can't afford" to go to the hospital. He's even threatened to hurt me physically if I call an ambulance for him over there. The only one he trusts to any degree is me, and he feels like I am the only person he can talk to. This makes me feel a lot of responsibility over things that I have no power over.

I've done what I can for him. THere have been nights when he called me for help and I was trying to talk him out of suicide while frantically googling "suicide" so I would know how to handle the situation. But now it's becoming routine. It's becoming personally damaging to me, and I don't think I can take this any longer. He just keeps getting worse and I just keep running out of things to say. Like I said I'm not trained in this. I'm young and naive, and I'm in way over my head.

I don't know where else to look. I know I need to draw a line with this guy, but I really don't want to see him hurt himself. If anyone has any advice for me or for him, I'd love to hear it.

I will be posting on other communities tonight, as well.

11/2/06 06:29 am - lotuseyes - the outlet

10/25/06 04:56 pm - kaz_itsmyname - Just needed to say hi

I am so lonely, put my membership invite thing in, but needed to speak. I was told at 18 I was probably manic-depressive, been told since then too but never officially diagnosed.

This year at 34, I started anti-depressants and seeing my doctor to get back pain and IBS treated. He said that 5 minutes a month with him was adequate, to treat me.

He diagnosed me with depression and IBS. I asked and asked for him to refer me to a psych. I wanted to know whether I was bipolar or depressed, he wouldn't yet.

One day a click went in my head and the anti-depressants stopped working. My doctor after 3 5 minute sessions, said he knew the complete story about me. This was so insulting, how could I have had time to describe the stuff since 11 to him in 15 minutes. He never listened when I tried to describe the manic symptoms, he only saw me depressed, as I was so scared of going to the doctors.

I know they can't help, I stopped going. I cycle several times a day sometimes, its so knackering. I know its mild, copared to what some have to deal with.

I am lucky I have a husband who listens and takes on board what I say. Apart from parents, I have no-one else in my life. I have lost all my friends, I can't do friends. I know it is better that way, but I get no lonely sometimes.

I am starting to recognise the cycles and how to respond to them. Its a start.

8/21/06 02:28 am - druh_eah_duhdz

I feel like I need to go to the ER right now...

It's been getting worse and worse.

I lay down to sleep, and when I close my eyes my mind goes crazy. My mental images go haywire...it's like "things" expand and shrink at an increasingly faster rate until I can't take it. I'm not really seeing anything do this, but I can feel it doing this. Things also shrink while the enviroment grows- to the point where it's like trying to view a small image in an area of miles and miles. Or either things grow too large for their enviroment.

When I try to calm my mind, things only start going faster and faster. God forbid if I try to imagine an actual object.

I can't sleep.
I need my Seroquel..but that makes me too sleepy and groggy far into the next day.

But I don't know if a trip to the ER would do any good...other than put me farther in debt with medical bills. Most likely, all they would do would be to send me home with some Ambien.

I don't know what to do.
This scares me...alot.

I need some advice asap...because im afraid to lay down..


3/27/06 08:12 pm - iris76 - crossposting

I have been on Celexa for 6 months, then we moved to Seattle and it stopped working for me. I went to a doc and he gave me Zoloft (it also supposed to be OK if you get pregnant), Zoloft did not work for 3 weeks, then I felt sort off better but not the same way I felt when I was on Celexa in California. So, he gave me 100mg Wellbutrin to take WITH Celexa. I think I feel a bit better, but: I still have horrible insane dreams EVERY night.
I tried some sleeping pills and still have those dreams. Now I am on 2 meds and I feel like I can't sit still. I guess, it's anxiety... For that he gave me Gbapentin ( 100mg) which does nothing to me.
So, thats my story.
Does anyone else have had similar experience?
I would love to hear!

2/18/06 09:40 pm - keng87

i was diag. bp./depression exactly 3 years. like an idiot, i thought i could handle the condition myself. so, i discontinued my meds a year ago. now, shit is a million times worse. i have terrible anxiety now included w/ the old problems. i'm actually in the process of getting back on medication. it's a little frustrating because i know that i'm basically going to be starting over. new doc/meds. just looking for support. & individuals who share some of the same issues. - so that i can have some ppls to chat w/ this about. aight. peace. :)

1/5/06 03:07 pm - mentallybent - Support and whatnot...

Everyone always talks about needing support and someone to talk to about being bipolar or depressed. I find this is a positive step towards setting up a network of support to keep one healthy and sane, especially during this and future holiday seasons.

Granted, it's difficult quite a bit to find people who are not only understanding but actually "get what you're going through".
I'm sure everyone knows just how bloody frustrating it is to spill your innermost thoughts only to hear:

1. Why don't you just snap out of it?
2. Are you kidding me? You look fine. Now get off your lazy ass...
3. You're what??! I'm not ever talking to YOU again...

and so forth and so on. How many of us have been through this and more, only to find our friends aren't willing to stick around, suddenly don't return calls, or simply just disappear or avoid you?

It happens to me too; as someone who's been bipolar for most of my life, I've experienced this not only from friends but also from family. I've had sisters who almost assuredly have some form of depression if not manic depression itself completely remove themselves from my life, stating I'm too screwed up and crazy to be near them or their kids.

They don't seem to just get it that I didn't choose to be this way, I didn't find a Sears catalog or look on a website and order this freakin' thing for $19.95, free shipping and a guaranteed warranty that constantly drops me into a deep depression or sends me spiralling down into suicidal ideations, dreams, and serious attempts to kill myself. Who would want that, for christ's sake?

But I tell you, it does get better. Not quickly, certainly. There is no magic wand waving and *poof!* you're all set. Dedication to getting better, being honest with your doctors, staying on your prescribed medications (not only anti-depressant and mood stabilization, but also your normal ones too), keeping up with that aforementioned network of support, and finding hobbies or activities to keep you sane really works. It also helps to be assertive and stating your boundaries without isolating. I'm not trying to be preachy here - I've been through it myself very recently and almost didn't survive it, which completely scared the crap out of me. Once I'm added to this group, I have a nice long commentary on recent events that I'll share.

Back to the support network - there are usually free groups out there either for depression, bipolarity or both. I know, for example, that Connecticut has them all over the state with various organizations such as Wheeler Clinic or the local hospitals/churches. Since I'm from there, and if any of you are also, you can call the "211" free information line for a bevy of assistance. Find out what's available out there for you, please. Try not to be disenchanted if one group isn't what you're looking for. It's kind of like the medications, you may need to experiment before you find the one that clicks!

I'm looking for friends too, you know, and am usually willing to chat/talk/whatever while awaiting membership here.
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